Note from Trish: The following is adapted from a blog I wrote over several months between 2006 and 2008 ‘Pimp My Blog’.
As a carer to my late husband – Steve aka ‘Hubs’ – I used my blogs to record events and information, along with helping to off-load about our struggles. It was important I try to also recognise the good stuff, and that Steve’s illness was not his fault. We were all in it together! Writing a blog was a great form of therapy which I would recommend to anyone.
Trish Dainton @TDainton
The Dental and The Rental
Tuesday 27th February 2007
Had to wake Hubs early/even earlier again today to be ready for the Dentist. Our transport turned up on time for once and we shared with a beautiful Down’s Syndrome lady who was a complete sweetie but had the cough of a 60 a day smoker. I felt like telling Hubs NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL A COUGH! His version of a cough in need of waking me up at 2 a.m. is a mild throat clearing one, bless him.
Our fantastic medical student at the Dental Hospital had obviously shown all the signs of being one of the NHS’s best and most caring professionals. She obviously went above someone else’s’ head on our behalf and told them she felt strongly as I did that it is kinder to give Hubs his treatment under a general anaesthetic. As a result she said she could put us up for referral for sedation (he would be numbed but still awake) or General (her/my preference).
It was music to my ears as Hubs had already been groaning about the visit. It was tiring for him anyway and the teeth scraping was obviously painful for him and upsetting for all of us. However… When it came to her asking us at the end of the treatment to let her know if we wanted to take her up on her proposal Hubs played a blinder!
He simply said “I thought we were going to talk about it when we get home?” That wasn’t a “No” but it wasn’t a “Yes” either. Therefore no action could be taken by the Student. What it did prove is how, HD or no HD, Hubs is a clever and cunning man. He must have known I couldn’t give her an answer without his own debate with me. Stalemate.
Wednesday 28th February 2007
I had been hoping for a morning Appointment to get the formalities of the new flat done but due to unforeseen circumstances I ended up being asked to meet the Housing Assoc Rep at 3 p.m. The worst time possible but I couldn’t say no unless we lost the flat or had a big delay.
10 a.m. Hubs wakes. I explain I have to leave at 2 p.m. and would he like to wake early to get his breakfast etc done and come with me? “NO!” was his reply.
I type out full instructions; leave breakfast and juice in the fridge and do everything possible on earth to accommodate Hubs being apart from me for two hours.
1 p.m. he wakes… I explain I am due to leave at 2 p.m. and he says he wants to go back to bed; understands not to touch the kettle etc; and wants to be woken at 3 p.m. to read the paper.
3 p.m. – I call him up to wake him.
By 5 minutes past 3 (when I am now talking to Housing Assoc man) Hubs calls on my mobile to ask where his porridge is? I explain again I didn’t leave any as it would have been cold so it’s just the dish of stuff in the fridge at this stage. I also remind him not to touch the kettle.
In the next hour I get three more calls with questions from where is the lid of the milk (the new one he has decided to open thus proving he is making himself a tea despite my telling him to WAIT) to where are the loo rolls- even though I have left plenty and told him to wait till I get home before attempting to go to the loo if possible lest he falls! I return home to a disgruntled Hubs and milk everywhere. There are signs of him having made a tea with no accidents. Oh for the days I would get home from work and Hubs asked me if I would like a cuppa? Now when I arrived home his first question was “Is my bum clean?”